A Lonely Pebble

I hide from myself, within myself. Like a pebble hiding from the waves. Fearing the trials that will smooth its rough edges, the confusion of being overcome, of losing control, of drowning with no sense of direction. Of being pulled to the bottom of the ocean and never finding the surface again. I am like a pebble, holding itself so still that the movements of rocks around it have little effect upon it. Where its beauty could be revealed if it would move and interact with the stones around it, but instead I choose to be tested and battered alone. I don't  allow myself to recognize the other steadfast rocks around me, the love which they shower upon me, that could help me transform if only I would approach them, let them near, allow them to glimpse my rough edges, accept their love and allow them to help me to sand them down. But instead I weather the storm alone until I am dangling on the edge of existence. Only then do I seek comfort enough to pull me back on the edge, but never enough to take me off of it completely. There are beautiful gems within me, which I could find, if only I would let the flaws break through the sands of my self and allow others to love me the way I love them.