I live my life carrying around a weight of my own making.
Shouldering a burden that doesn’t exist.
Wearing a mask that hides what I feel.
Afraid.
Unworthy.
Incapable.
Young.
Yearning for compassion, friendship and love
but afraid of interaction.
Constantly second guessing myself.
I hide.
Inside my mind.
Inside my heart.
Behind a smile and a calm exterior.
My fear kept under a tight lock.
My inexperience and cowardice fed by my silence.
A silence so deep I forget it is there.
It feeds on itself, ensnaring me deeper in its web.
I get lost in the echoes of nothing and everything.
The echoes of conversations that could have been if I was more capable,
of friendships that would have been if I were less afraid,
of a life I wish I knew how to lead,
a lack of acceptance of who I am,
constant judgment of who I should be,
And Fear.
Outrageous amounts of fear.
Has left me in a world of written words, poems & lyrics
A world where interaction is feared.
A world of silence.
